Iory's Newest Book: Naughty Astronautess

What the readers have to say

Lilly's Blurb

- Lilly Linda Le Strange
  Star of Glamour Galore
  Club Crazy, Boston

Hi there you darling lumps, this is Lilly Linda LeStrange and I just have'ta get my two cents worth in here! 

The Family Jewels is not the story I would have written, but hey, I'm a lazy Bitch, so who's surprised? I'll tell you one thing the climax, which, by the way, has nothing to do with sex, is still pretty dammed incredible. This is not to say I didn't like it, far from that, I'm in the story from beginning to end so who's arguing? But my one gripe is this: with a talent like mine, don't you think it's kind of a waste to be providing only the comic relief? Not that this story doesn't need a little comic relief, after all, with a slob like Nagib Iskander and that little rodent, Wisner Chilton working their wily ways the whole thing can get pretty heavy. And while we're on that subject, if those ugly lugs think they can mess with my daughter Valisha then think again `cause I'll tear their faces off..."

Editor's note: L.L.LS. has been called away to Mc Clean's Hospital for a command performance of "Shock Therapy" in which she stars as the nurse who gives head, "Whorozine"

- Ba Ba Rum Toddy
  The Charma Karma Ashram
  Pun-jab, India

After attempting to impart the wisdom of the ages to this author over many laborious years with regular recitations of the pre Vadic saga, "Razzle Dazzle Raga", I fully expected something more spiritual from Mr. Allison. His current offering of, "The Family Jewels", and here I am joined by His Holiness, Dilly Dally Rimpoché, when we say, "this is clap trap in the extreme".

- Tilly Wink
  Literary critic, The Bumble Bee Beacon 
  Bumble Bee, Arkansas

Having raced through the narcotic pages of "Family Jewels" I am frankly shocked! This book is rife with homosexual antics that would keep the major saints rolling in their graves like a heavy load in the clothes dryer. The characters are so vivid I had to slam the book shut just to keep them inside the cover! Talk about jingles you can't get out of your head, now I am constantly humming the refrain, "Into each life a little glamour must fall" and how can I explain that to my husband? If this weren't enough, I even missed the last episode of Seinfeld because I was madly tearing through the pages like a junky. This book is addictive, watch out!

Voices From Beyond

- Lillian Hellmann
  (as channeled through the ouija board by Madame Sonia Schnable)
  Literary critic, Mystic Messages

If Mr. Allison thinks he can nuzzle his way onto the NYT best seller list with this worthless dribble, then he has more imagination than I would have supposed from reading "Family Jewels". I must admit I learned more about the "Gay" life than I had ever hoped for or needed to know. In my day the Queens around the round table were so closeted they chased the furs into the cold storage vault for the whole summer. 

I will admit to an irrational attraction to Tatiana Sarkisian, "the dusky beauty in the sable coat" I mean really, but when she uttered that immortal line, "You little shithead, Chilton! Play games with me, and I'll break you like a dry bone" I had to chuckle. Other than that, this book is nothing more than frothy entertainment.

Boston as it is

- Bunko Lestrad
  Editor of The Police Blotter
  Boston, Massachusetts

The Family Jewels, a new mystery thriller just published by Iory Allison reads like an archeological dig of the Boston social stratum. The clear detailed prose paints a portrait of the city in vivid colors and the characters we meet promise to walk off the page and into our lives. The mysterious treasure hunt at the center of the story careens around the avenues and alleys leading us from shadows cast over hidden tombs to the absurd hilarity of the "Club Crazy".
My favorite character in the book is the socially savvy Cornelia Chilton who as the chair person of the Police Benevolent Society Ball gets free parking in front of Precinct 34, the now defunct South End Station. Will the perfect crimes committed by Cornelia's ancestors and family be discovered after the smooth maneuvering by her Uncle, the powerful lawyer, Eben Chichester? This officer of the law wouldn't dare stir up the ashes.

The Last Word

- Shirley Slurp
  Avid Reader for Silos and Commoner
  Online hawker of excessive literary output

I know a good book when I read one and this gem is one ada best! The powerful explosive prose flows like lava from a volcano, irresistible! I couldn't escape being swept away by the fast pace excitement of the story. And who knew all that stuff about creepy Egyptian tombs and spooky heathen gods such as Anubis? Watch out world. Here comes "Family Jewels".